It seems that the men of my generation are mostly circumcised.
Don’t ask how I know. Let’s just call it anecdotal evidence.
By the time I had children it appeared that the tide had turned and little boys are no longer routinely circumcised. Part of it has to do with the fact that provincial health care stopped covering it (in Alberta at least) and also because it became seen, depending on the group, as a non-necessary intervention, genital mutilation or simply an esthetic procedure.
There are arguments for doing it: it’s cleaner, so he can look like daddy, reduced the risk of STD’s when he’s older (not that I want to think about that one).
There are arguments for not doing it: it’s not necessary for cleanliness, it hurts the baby, and it’s unethical.
Here is what dear old Wikipedia says:
“Global estimates by the World Health Organization (WHO) suggest that 30 percent of males are circumcised, of whom 68 percent are Muslim.[9] The prevalence of circumcision varies mostly with religious affiliation, and sometimes culture. Most circumcisions are performed during adolescence for cultural or religious reasons;[10] in some countries they are more commonly performed during infancy.[9] Circumcision is also used therapeutically, as one of the treatment options for balanitis xerotica obliterans, phimosis, balanitis, posthitis, balanoposthitis and urinary tract infections.[11]”
So I was in a conundrum about the penis, especially once I found out I was having a boy!
I googled. I wiki’ed. I asked my friends, my mother, my in-laws, (which taught me a lot more about the men in my family then I ever really wanted to know…) acquaintances, and my mommy group. I phoned a doctor that performed circumcisions and grilled his assistant. Most people fell into two camps and most were very vocal and outspoken about their opinion. One person looked at me incredulously and said “I don’t know why you wouldn’t do it?” Another flat out told me it was child abuse to do it.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about it either way.
So, not having a penis, I asked the man attached to the one I know best. I fully expected my husband to be pro-circumcision but he surprised me.
We talked about pros and cons. He asked about logistics; when, where, how much, pain, aftercare, etc. Then he asked what the trend was. He suggested that while a boy may be concerned about why his penis doesn’t look like daddy’s when he’s 3, by the time he’s 13 he’s going to feel awkward if he doesn’t look like his peers.
He told me that he was comfortable either way. Then the wimp left it up to me.
I hemmed and hawed. I thought about one of my nephews who had to have it done anyway when he was 3 because of repeated infections. Poor baby would walk around the house clutching it saying, and I quote “my dinglehoffer hurts”. I thought about a guy I knew in high school who claimed a botched circumcision left him with part of the foreskin intact. He claimed he could stick a pencil through it. I never investigated that claim… And everyone I went to high school with will know exactly to whom I am referring…
Then I remembered one thing another dad told me; if you leave him uncircumcised, he can always get it performed when he’s old enough to decide; in other words, the kid will have options.
And really, the cost, $250 seemed ridiculous for a little piece of skin and a whole lot of pain. That was another corker for me; I couldn’t deal with taking my baby boy to get hurt. I was a wimp too.
So in the end my boy is uncut and uncensored. And I’m alright with that. Teaching him how to pull the skin back to clean it was dicey, but I think we’re good now because he does it a little too enthusiastically. If only he could learn to control it and not pee all over the wall before finally hitting the water I’d be ecstatic…
What are your thoughts on circumcision?
About Voula Martin
So many thoughts. Nutshell: hubby isn’t but I let my doctor tell me nightmare stories about grown men who needed it done later in life due to emergency issues. Getting it done later is an option but it’s much more painful. When my first son was 4 months old, and after much research I decided he needed to be circumcised. And then the next son was done in the hospital before we left. It was a lot cheaper back then.
They aren’t like their father but when I asked my husband if his dad was circumcised he said he didn’t know so to me that was no excuse at all not to have it done.
I did it for selfish reasons. I thought for me, it would be easier in trying to keep them clean and from having to do it later in life. Really there is no other reason.
I also weighed the pros and cons, but with the man of my house being pro it was a no-brainer. We went through with it and have never regretted it. I also have a close family friend that had to have it done later in life for health reasons and it was a lot more traumatic than what my son experienced. We were referred to a wonderful lady who gave numbing creams, dosage amts for tylenol and believe it or not my son barely flinched and then fell asleep right after the procedure. He was in no distress and I can honestly say that piercing my daughter’s ears was a greater ordeal! Anyways, I don’t think it matters either way, but wanted to share our experience for those contemplating it being it was very simple, healed quickly and there was little pain involved!
His body. His choice.
Interesting perspectives ladies! I wonder if sometimes we get bent out of shape about these things for no good reason? Millions of boys are circumcised. Millions of boys are not. What’s the big deal either way?
Exactly. And the whole idea of it being abusive really gets my goat. Have you ever, even once, seen any evidence anywhere on the internet or otherwise, of someone needing therapy for trauma due to infant circumcision?
I thought not……
I just don’t see any valid reason to surgically remove a child’s genitals. For every story about a circumcision needed later in life, there is a story about a botched circumcision.
I just don’t think we should take knives to out children’s sexual organs. Not for baby boys, or baby girls. It doesn’t make sense to me.
When Evan was born, I sweated over this decision a lot. I googled & studied & fretted. Then my husband said “I get to decide this & we’re doing it.” Anyone who has met me will know I didn’t take that so well but it was what it was. We had it done & we’ve never regretted it.
Actually, there are many, many men out there who wish they had never been circumcised. While rare, there are many complications due to circumcision including serious infection, penile amputation, sexual disfunction in later life, and even death. A baby died just last week in the US; I believe it was a heart attack during the operation. A recent study estimates that just over 100 babies die every year in the US alone due to complications of circumcision. Gloria Lemay, a Canadian midwife and activist, makes a compelling case for leaving baby boys intact in this video if you are interested in the topic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWUoAPo6Y2Y
I don’t blame parents who do it when they are being fed the wrong information by health care professionals, the media and a culture that seems to feel it is just fine to cut a baby boy’s genitals, while acknowledging that it’s a crime to do it to a girl. All it took was watching a YouTube video of a circumcision to convince me that it’s wrong.
Oh, and my husband was circumcised as an adult. It’s no worse than a vasectomy, and it was his choice. A round of antibiotics would have cleared up the problem, but unfortunately he thought the doctor knew everything when he said the answer was circumcision.
When I was pregnant, I did not even give it a second thought. If I ended up with a boy, I would circumcise my son. Once he was born, it was a completely different story. I couldn’t make up my mind. One day I was convinced we should do it, the next day at 4am I was sobbing to my husband I could not go through with it. I was a trainwreck (post-partum hormones anyone?) We opted not to do it with the same line of thinking as Voula..most kids his age are not circumcized and one day if he really wants it we can have it done then.
I know men who had it done later in life (not so fun), and ones who had it early on (preferable).
I did the research and I still did it. Despite being a more holistic type of person…
I let hubby decide since I don’t have a penis I don’t have an opinion. He said he wished he never had been. I also read it is the only preventive surgery performed. Preventing things that may or may not happen… I agree with the “his body his choice”. And I also disagree with people who choose to pierce their daughters ears before they can say if they want it.
This whole thing angers me, sorry it just does and I have had many heated discussions and debates over this. I am from the UK and no body (unless for religious reasons) is taking a hacksaw to their baby boys penis!!! And guess what…… in later life they are not needing it done either or dying of unlean penis’s or infections. In no other western country is this even a thought. I have friends in Australia too and folks don’t do it there.
Most people these days seem to do it ‘to look like Dad’ but i proffer that with a great big fat – what a thing to teach your kids. That our body parts need to look exactly alike. Did my vagina look like my Mothers growing up, ermmmmm nope! Will my daughters breasts look like mine, errrrr nope!!! So i should get hacking at my daughters vulva so it is the exact same, size and measurement as mine is!!!! Body parts come in all shapes and sizes!! Yes i think it is WRONG!!!