Ah, the technology-free road trip. You’re just trying to get from A to B safely, so your little darlings can have a wonderful family vacation…but, rather than enjoying the view out the window, the way you did in the 1980’s, your precious passengers are intent on causing a backseat brawl at best, and at worst: a major road accident. Woefully regretting your decision to go tech-free, you’re now wishing you bought them i-pads, a Nintendo…anything to Stop. The. Noise. Before. Daddy. Crashes. The. Car!!!

But wait! Before you hand over your i-phones to the little devils, why not turn around and hit them with this collection of 18 hilarious family-friendly travel-jokes, guaranteed to inject the 1980’s-style fun back into your family road trip!

1. How can you tell elephants love to travel?
They always pack their own trunk!

2. Why did the witch stay in a hotel?
She heard they had great broom service!

3. Where do sharks go on vacation?

4. Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaa-hamas!

5. Where do hamsters go on vacation?

6. What do frogs like to drink on a hot summer’s day?

7. How do rabbits get to their holiday destination?
By hare-plane!

8. What did the pig say on the beach?
I’m bacon!

9. Riddle: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
Answer: A stamp!

Riddle: Where can you find an ocean without water?
Answer: On a map!

10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Europe who?
No, you are!

11. What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician?
A flying sorcerer!

12. Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York!

13. Where do cows like to go in the evenings?
To the mooooo-vies!

14. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.

15. What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you!

16. What is a vampire’s favourite airline?
Scare Canada!

17. What happens when you wear a watch on a plane?
Time flies!

18. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Cargo who?
Car go “Beep beep”!


Copyright notice: “Hey- that’s my joke!” Most of these jokes were told verbally to the author, by her 7 year old daughter who just loves joke books! Others were adapted from travel jokes found on the internet, with so many sources and various versions, that it is hard to pinpoint an original source.  If you really do think that one of these gems is “your joke”, please let us know!