test grade
Dear Teacher,

Please don’t coddle my child. When my daughter hands you an illegible assignment in horrible handwriting running along the margins, please make her redo. If my son composes one word answers, please make him rewrite in full sentences.

If my dear daughter doesn’t read the instructions on a test and consequently messes up, please don’t allow her a retake every time. When my sweet son hands in work a few days late, please do not say you understand. Go ahead and take off a few marks, why not?

If heaven forbid my daughter is rude or disrespectful, feel free to consequence her. Finally, please don’t praise my son unless he has done something truly worthy of praise.

Sorry for putting you in a tough spot: I know our politically-correct society demands you go easy on each student. Otherwise, you might be accused of being insensitive to the needs of each individual learner.

Here’s the deal: I promise to support you. No matter how low the deserved mark, or how many “redo”s I won’t complain.

You see, we desperately need you to demand more at school so I can demand less at home. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think it’s solely my place to let my kid know when her work is unpresentable. Plus, I sound insane lecturing him on responsibility if you say it’s okay for homework to be a couple of days late.

So please, you go ahead and do whatever you need to get your job done. Leave the coddling to me.


Call me Old-fashioned.