When life consists of being a mom to two little boys, the majority of my day revolves around poop!

I refer to my 1-year old, as “Sammy my little sh**ting machine”. Seriously, that child poops up to 6 times a day! And, to make matters worse, he does NOT like having his diaper changed. I know there are kids that hate lying still or even squirm during the changing process but I challenge them in a dual with Sam. As soon as I even make the motion to lay him down for a diaper change, his entire body becomes possessed with an evil, crazed spirit from the dark side. He thrashes and screams and kicks his legs wildly. He fights me every step of the way.

Sam in the bath

He may look innocent...

The second his diaper is off, his hands immediately head for his private parts. He grabs and flails about until there is poop on his fingers, poop on the floor and poop everywhere. I am not exaggerating when I say, at times, it takes 3 people to hold him down and (try to) entertain him. The silver lining side of things? After I’ve tackled a Sammy changing, I feel as though I’ve had a thorough work-out combining cardio with strength training.

And more often than not, as most parents know, as soon as the clean diaper is securely fastened, another poop finds its way out. Repeat cycle above. Then crack some baileys for the coffee. Breath deeply (while holding your nose). Remember this too shall pass…

If Sam is clean and happy or better yet, napping, I’ll get going on some chores, work, whatever is required. The minute I am occupied, I inevitably hear “Mom! MOM! I poo’d. Did you hear me? MOM!”

sam-pooper

Sam, my little pooper

While my 4-year old is learning the delicate art of wiping, there are still (most) times I am required. And while those times are less yucky, his fascination with the subject matter is abundantly obvious. We need to inspect it, discuss it and on occasion, he’ll want to take a picture of it (that requires a different post). It’s almost ceremonial like when we flush it. We watch is descend and he always has questions about it. It’s amazing really, the depth of his fascination.

I love being a mom and more-so, I love being mom to Ben and Sam. They are funny and smart and entertaining… they are enjoyable little people to be around. But despite the love and laughter and everyday antics, the conclusion is still the same. My life is full of crap. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.