I saw the best baby announcement ever the other day. It’s not the best because it is beautiful – it’s an email. And it’s not the best because it was a lovely, heartfelt, emotional announcement of love for one’s offspring. No. It’s the best because it’s funny and funny wins a lot of points with me.
My husband is an engineer and if you have an engineer in your life that says it all. They have certain tendencies. They like details, bullet points, technical terms and frequently have a twisted sense of humour. One of his colleagues recently sent this out and I just had to share. The names and some details have been changed to protect their identity since the family so kindly agreed to let me share this with you.
Some of you will have already heard. Wife managed to pop out the latest edition to the “FAMILY in a “Foreign Country”” early Tuesday morning.
The kid comes with the following specifications:
Name: Elliott ***** ******
Mass: 3732grams (8lbs 4oz)
Head Circumference: 37cm (ouch!)
Labour: 4.5 hrs
Birthday: 02:02, 24 January 2012
I’ve attached a few photos. You’ll want to pick the appropriate photo for your gender. I’ve assumed most women are like Wife and get excited about how ‘cute’ a wrinkly, mini-monkey looks and need to know every detail. This also assumes most men are like me and would be happy with adopting a 5 year-old when they can actually pick a wrench and hold a work light.
Oldest Daughter is beside herself with excitement and Oldest Son is a bit indifferent (corroborating my statements above).
Dad’s Name et al.
P.S. Too bad, but Elliott is not automatically a “Foreign Country” citizen. Without registration in Canada, he would be a “boy without a country”! Foreign Country immigration policy requires Wife or I to be a permanent resident or a citizen for him to be a citizen at birth.
And attached to the email were 5 pictures. 4 of them were titled “For the Women” and the 5th was titled “For the Men”
The 4 for the women included sweet pictures of the new baby, his siblings and mom. This is the one for the men and includes some more comments from this funny dad:
Cheers FAMILY on the new addition!!