By Voula Martin
September 12, 2008

Ever hear someone say that kids say the darndest things?

Totally, annoyingly true. Do not swear in front of your children! Yes, this should be a no-brainer, and yes, I should have cleaned up my potty mouth a long time ago, but the little buggers hear everything, even if its under your breath and file it away in their little heads for future use.

I occasionally, (ok, frequently) say “Son of a b***h”! Well, Helen heard me say it once and now always finishes the sentence for me…

Lately she has taken to calling things “a pain in the ask”. As in itchy mosquito bites are a pain in the ‘ask’.

Recently, my daughter overheard daddy saying “s**t”. She immediately found me and ratted him out: “Mommy! Daddy made a fire for us, then it went out, then he said “s**t”, then he poured more stuff on it, and then we had a fire again!” Today, on the drive home as I was stopped in traffic, it was hard not to laugh when I heard my impatient little darling say in a very irritated tone, “Well s**t, why doesn’t this truck just go!”

And why do kids make time disappear? Poof, it’s gone and I’ve nothing to show for myself! Where did the summer go? I swear I blinked and missed August! I know we spent some time in Radium because we enjoyed going out to the lake in Invermere. Ever try getting a toddler and preschooler out of the water to go home? Yikes, the yelling and screaming got out of control, and that was just me!

It seems one minute they’re newborns keeping you up all night because they like to party when you like to sleep, and the next they’re starting preschool. And, the ungrateful child just waltzed into that classroom like she owned the place, and didn’t give me a backwards glance!

My ‘baby’ is 15 months now and he is still not sleeping through the night. I swear he doesn’t want any younger siblings so he’s keeping me exhausted. He gives new meaning to the word monkey. He’s figured out that moving stools and chairs gives him better access to lamps and tabletops. This evening he managed to remove the bottom rack of the dishwasher and crawl in, then try to destroy the spray arm! His sister didn’t pull this sort of crap until much later!

Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s society that encourages sex differences between boys and girls, because that’s crap. We gave our daughter a dump truck for Christmas when she was 1 and she had a ball playing with it, until Grandma gave her a doll, then the truck just became a handy place for her to put her “baby” to bed…. With my son, we have just as many dolls as trucks available, yet he immediately goes for the trucks and pushes them along saying vroom!

Wow, I kinda went off on a few tangents there there didn’t I?  Well, to sum up, don’t swear,  boys and girls are different, and time flies when you’re having fun!