creative cussing
My husband worked road construction for many years and as a result has a very colorful vocabulary.

I grew up with 2 older brothers and a father who could cuss a blue streak in 3 languages so I also have a lively vocabulary.

Even my mother is not immune to employing the odd curse word. One day while driving along I watched from the corner of my eye as she rolled down the window and flipped the bird to someone (who it turns out I had accidentally cut off), and yelled in her heavily accented English “yes, F$% you too!” Horrified, I asked why she did that and she told me, “He does it to you, I can do it to him!”

Since having children who have selective bionic hearing, we have tried very very very very hard to reign in the potty mouth. We are mostly successful.

However there was the time that my daughter asked my husband why he was pointing at another car with his middle finger. Or when my son asked “What’s a futting idot?”

I see that most of our swearing coincides with driving. Hmm…

Recently I saw a post on Facebook about someone replacing band names for those satisfying four-letter-words and we’ve been having a lot of fun with this. It’s almost as gratifying as using the real words; not only can we be self-righteous about not swearing but also pat ourselves on the back for being creative with the English language.

Some of our favorites:

What the Foo Fighters is wrong with you?

Son of a Backstreet Boy!

Holy Soundgarden!

That is total Bob Seger!

What other band names should we use? Do you have a solution for when you really want to curse but you can’t?